loving everyone... really

loving everyone.... really
The Lord, Jesus Christ in all His amazing Loving of me is opening my eyes wide to His beauty in allllllllllll peoples. Physical, yes... What a perfect, most creative, visionary, molder, smoother outer, "a little more here", "a little less there", tweaker, bender, blender, detail oriented, beauty maker, creator, artist our God is. He has made such wonders in us all. We are so fabulously beautiful having been made in His image. There arent words and though you know I want to try some out... I choose to not. God made us... "enough said."
Also, our inner things... we are each whole beings... as in full of goo and bones and blood, a soul, a spirit, emotions, feeeeeeeeeeelings, drama on occassion, hopes, dreams, love love love, loves (right ones and wrong ones), art, ideas, brains (full of what we fill them with), hearts and hearts desires. Though the same ingredients are contained within, we each are made from a different recipe-- i may be a bit saltier than some (ive eaten it by the handfulls since childhood) where others may be full of sugar. Im losing you, I think. What I mean is, that God used His dirt, His clay, His hands, and His breath to create us all, but He made each of us as different from each other as the snowflakes and raindrops and stars are from one another. I am completely unique. You will never ever ever ever ever ever ever find another me. I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever find another you. Fabulous... it's perfect... perfectly God.
Class was over and everyone was outdoors running and sunning in the sun and Son. Six of the boys had begun a game of football, but soccer to us. It was hot hooooooot and I had planned to walk to town with some of my friends (which meant more hot hoooooot and sweating and feeling sweaty) so the appropriate now action was to sit and stay cool, but I so itched to run the field with the boys and the ball. I decided to resist. I resisted. stillll resisting. stilllllllllll reeeessssssiiiiiisssssssttttiiiiiiing... "I dont have the power"... I gotta play. I played forward for a bit but longed to be keeper and quickly recieved this desire of my heart (it's was more a desire of my ego and sweat glands)... I can do keeper- I pretty much rock at body blocking- it's my place in the game. For me to play keeper, Micah had to take the field. Oh wait, back up... the now remember truth is that I could see that Micah wanted to play the field (the other boys usually stick him in goal) and so I stepped in to relieve him. RIght, that sounds better.
So Im in goal- keeping it- and from there I have a really good view of the game- the jumps and jives, the side steps, the swirly feet thing that Michael does, the headers, Toma's big-footed kicks, the body blocks, every smooth move, every blunder (few and far between), and every .... somersault, butterfly chase, and flying of invisible kites (imagine the eyes to the sky whirling as though following site of a huge rainbow colored kite). These latter scenarios describe my Micah and my gift today was being able to watch and really see this beautiful boy, as he performed perfectly the role God has given him... as him. He is Tanzanian. He is "black" but brown with reds, oranges, yellows, and hot pinks blended to perfect beauty. He is round and full... of so so so much heart, love, desire to please, willingness to learn, want for growth, potential, smarts, and hope- He is a boy and he plays the part well. He is full of surprises. Truly, watch him in football (soccer). One minute he is somersaulting, chasing butterflies, and flying invisible kites... which is fabulous and fun and childlike. These are things he should be doing in that they are carefree, mindless, adventurous, imaginative discovery of life... the pretend things and the real things. He is here and there and everywhere in his mind and yet, the moment that his team needs him and the ball is in his box (where ever the butterfly has led him for that moment), he is the man with the plan and the moves- full on body block, face-stomach-arms-legs- full body involvement, fully functioning, fully skilled, fully successful. I cant seem to find the words to satisfy what my eyes behold as I watch this kid wonder... but let me just say he can "bend it like beckham." Does that even mean anything? The point is that he is wonderful. He is fully child and fully himself, full of potential and gifting and talent and purpose and life. He is beautiful and leaves me gaping and, better yet, smiling and laughing while silently speaking "what!?!" and "really!?!" and "wow!"
I am here for three months, which, now that only five weeks remain, feels like very little. God has introduced me to this Micah, this boy, this specially-designed-by-Him part of His great plan, this heart so in need of love and yet so capable of giving it away in heafty portions... with ease. "Missee Cait-a-lin" "Missee Cait-a-lin". I couldnt ever leave that except that I trust God to forever provide for him hearts to love and be loved by. I am blessed and honored, brought to tears over the heart-to-heart realness between this superstar, this Micah and me. Watching him today in all his... him, touched my heart and deeper still, somehow better connected my heart to God's own Heart. Wow!
The Lord is giving me insight into His creation of us- wholly individual, wholly perfect, wholly Him and therefore Holy. He is beautiful and so we, created in His image are also... beautiful.
You all, you all, you all, you, you, you are so beautiful. I began to think on each of you as He spoke to me of the many different ingredients He placed in us, differently in each... and it broke me. Thoughts of you broke me. Your beauty- beauties even, in Him- 'physical' and 'inner things'- are so beyond what you even think them to be or hope them to be. I laughed... and laughed and laughed and laughed full rejuvenating, life giving laughter. I smiled... a huge, cheek to cheek, red-faced (because my heart exploded and the blood flooded up to fill it), life healing, hope giving smile. I am not deserving of the hearts that I have been given... as friends and just-one-moment-knowings and life long loves... but I readily accept the gift of you all, you all, you all, you, you, you in all your beauty. Please pray for God to open your eyes to you in Him and others in Him. My words could never do it justice, but seeing it for the mili-second I did, changed my heart, and thus, my life forever.

4-03-07